Sometimes we find ourselves standing in the middle of something we never prayed for, never asked God for yet, in the midst of it we uncover a hidden beauty underneath the mess. Something which although we'd never want to go through it ever again...we're learning and gathering something we once prayed for.
Please hear me, I'm not saying I've ever prayed for this disease or for suffering, but within this very intense season something bigger is being birthed. 

It's when we acknowledge what this season and how we're growing we are able to find purpose for the pain.  It's wholeheartedly believing these seasons, which crash into our lives with a reckoning force can bring a sacred invitation to join God in his holiest of work. In no way am I over-magnifying this work to elevate what we are doing, but what I am saying is the seeds God is calling us to sow in these times of suffering have had a way of growing something far greater than we ever expected.
Here I am in the middle of watching my husband struggle through pain, here I am in the middle of his wounds and seeing him fighting against something brutal that I don’t want to miss how God is healing us. Seeing our lives through the steps of growth rather than the pain we're going through is making all the difference for us..God loves to put a new song into broken hearts but the process of 'moving' one's heart is a tender work that sometimes requires walking through pain. All movement has a way of arousing sleeping souls and awakening us to others that we would've never stopped to notice before. But now as we are changing we are invited to be moved by his Spirit by other’s lives.
Why does this matter though? It matters, because there's a lot of brokenness and God wants us to leave our self-focused lives to enter another's pain, to uncover otherwise unseen and hidden brokenness. And this is where we actually come alive too. As we begin to uncover another's pain we discover something is born out of pain, it gives our suffering greater purpose. Our lives become far greater as we discover there is something beautiful being grown out of a hard season, something sacred which somehow awakens and releases us to embrace a new beginning and a ministry to those who are also suffering. 

God does his best work in bringing life from death, because death always precedes resurrection.

We are finding this true as we walk through this cancer journey. When we were first told of the aggressiveness of his diagnosis, doctor after doctor spoke of its rarity and what it would take for Joe to survive. And honestly we were both at first overwhelmed with their concerns. We'd always tied the words aggressive and cancer together in hopeless situations. So, when our Oncologist explained with the aggressiveness of his disease came with it the ability to be treated aggressively treat it, we were hopeful but there was one thing it was going to take all he had to fight it. (And boy has that been true!)
The doctor said the treatments would kill all of his cells to bring new cells back to life, to heal him. This detail of the disease shouldn't have surprised us, because God's been calling Joe and I to the work of restoration for all of our ministry lives. We didn't always know this or even fully understand it., but it was about fifteen years ago that Joe began seeing how God had designed us like this. And once he spoke those words out loud we began tracing this truth and we were surprised to find it even within the tiniest of details.  
You see, God's given us a love for the beautiful work of restoration, whether it’s been our house’s foundation that’s needed it, or the shattered soul of someone who’s experienced brokenness beyond belief or even the heart of a church that needed its heart revived...So why were we surprised that he would need us to experience this same kind of  work in our own lives too?
And yet, the interesting thing is, even though Joe and I are going through these days right now side by side next to each other, we're experiencing this work in two totally different ways...him within the minuscule cells of his body and me within the secret places of my soul. Because the work of restoration is as unique and distinct as the cells he's placed within our bodies. The truth is, each of us goes through our own kind of restoration and death always comes before a life is resurrected. And we all must answer the question if we’re willing for something to die to find life again?
Who am I to think that the road to finding new life would be anything less than paved with the pain of death? And even though a death of something must happen for life to find its way to emerge, there's something truly beautiful that gets birthed when we live a life surrendered to this kind of dying. We clasp arms with the restorative work of our Saviorwho he himself chose death for life. So, friend if you feel a part of you is dying or even more a piece of you that you know has needed to die for years-know although the process may take all you havethe life you'll find after the resurrection is a life worth dying for....I've felt death within the deepest places and God is showing me how what is rising within me is far more life-giving than anything I once carried around. Because what we are finding these days is for us to feel fully alive, a death must painfully come first...