Living Life Honestly

There are times in our lives when everything's going great and we want more of God...you know more of the GOOD more of his BLESSINGS more of his STRENGTH, so we ask him to work in our lives. But we overlook something important in order for God to do something we must become weak for him to become strong. And when this truth begins to unfold and we see that what might have to happen in order for God to bring blessings means that we might find ourselves in the middle of something far beyond what we ever hoped for as we cry out to God from the valley.
We’ll wonder how we could've ever misunderstood blessings for suffering strength for weakness or the hills for the valley?
We’ll find our one self broken with our ourselves in the middle of the valley, but even here friend is where God works mightily.

Let me invite you into our story a bit deeper, just beware it may cause some conflict to rise within you and even bring forth some uncertainty, because that's what faith under fire can do. And know I'm not here to give you answers to all of these uncertainties. I'm merely here to let you know that if you're feeling a bit worn down by life, a bit unsure of what's to come or a bit unseen, I'm here too.

Joe and I came to Dallas nine years ago. 
At the time God was calling Joe to come here, but I was resisting it. And although there were a lot of things factoring into this, the biggest struggle I was having was that we had already served God for over twenty plus years. We’d lived away from family, we had given our all to it and I was simply ready for an easier assignment. I wanted the blessings of God without the suffering. I wanted an easier assignment one near family who we could spend the holidays with. I wanted to serve God in a healthy church with healthy people. I’d even written these desires on pages of my journal asking God to give this to us. Because we had spent twenty plus years serving God and I was honestly worn out. I was tired of being surrounded by brokenness, tired of being hurt by those inside the church and I was ready for him to rescue us. I felt like we deserved a break from all of the struggles, relief from the brokenness and I was so desperate I was blinded. Blinded by a deep need for a relief.

Have you ever been here?
I'm sure you have because we all have battles we're fighting and trying to survive. Some in the walls of our homes and some in the walls of our hearts, we each long for our brokenness to be redeemed. But friend, the way God does his work isn't ever the way we would expect. Because nine years ago if we'd followed my leading, followed my heart, oh what a mess we'd be in now. We would be celebrating others' stories of bravery and we would have missed the story he's writing in our lives now. 
Sure, we're breaking, but we're also healing too. 

Because sometimes friend we can break from this kind of trials so much that we see his   testimony happening within us as he’s puting us back together. And that's what life is about, isn't it?
It's about God being seen in the reflection of our lives more than us.
And I'll admit lately I've felt as if my heart couldn't break any more until I remember God the creator of us all knows how to put our hearts back together too. And I've been walking a whole lot differently lately as I’ve realized this is where blessings get birthed.

Because even if our feeds are full of people living out their dreams buried beneath the filters are hearts full of brokenness too. Inside each of us lies a deep need for God to restore us. When Joe's cancer first began and we learned of how they were going to aggressively treat it, Joe asked his doctor this question, “If you're killing what's killing me, what's going to bring me back to life?”
Friend, when life feels like it's crushing down on us so hard it's pressing the life out of us we all want to know is how we're going to survive.
To our surprise his doctor told Joe “your blood will bring you back to life.”
'That's right even in the midst of the treatments killing every one of his cells somewhere long ago, God made a way for his blood to save him.

You see when our arms are lifted up in complete surrender this is where God puts us back together. And friend, it's in these seasons of suffering that God comes and doesn’t even let an ember of fire fall upon us, but instead he walks us out the other side. Yes, I've felt weaker than ever friend, but it's in these times of utter exhaustion that God is working the most. And it's here, we’ve been uncovering his blessings. Blessings so different than the world has to offer and yet full of so much. Because these are the kind of blessings that heal broken marriages, bring children back home to God and the kind of blessings that mend bodies. Because God always brings unusual blessings in the most absurd of times.
And nine years later, I can truthfully say we are seeing these blessings.We are experiencing restoration all around us and even deep into our cells. 

So friend, if you're in the middle of something and wondering if God’s gotten it all wrong, I encourage you to come alongside of heaven and watch God work. Press play on your playlist and remember his goodness and faithfulness. Because whether you're in the valley or you’re soaring over mountaintops God is worthy of your praise.
And know this sweet friend, you will never walk this way alone.