Change has a way of teaching

As one season is ushering in another it's reminding me of the continuum of change that blows in and out of our lives. None of our lives happen without the constant rhythm of change...moving from one into the next. And yet so often we convince ourselves that change is somehow a mishap or something unusual...but its funny when we look across the landscape of our lives seasons of change are some of our most memorable memories...When my boys were young I found my heart longing for them to grow, to become who God longed for them to be. I remember being told to let each day count rather than counting my days.It can be hard; longing for hours and days to pass...and holding onto the ones you have...only to get stuck somewhere in between them all.And then all of the sudden without much warning we find ourselves in those days ahead trying to get used to the season we're in....because God just keeps growing us no matter how grown we ever seem to feel.There's times I find myself looking back on the trail of brokenness behind me, relationships left undone, hurts that never found resolve and a part of me wishes I could go back and heal or stitch together what feels incomplete.  It's funny how the relationships I thought were complicated really were quite simple...But just as the winter air comes in a succession of days, seasons have a way of ushering in healing over time. Perhaps not in the same way they found themselves into our lives, but in a better more healthy way they're able to heal our hearts. When we are in these hard seasons we often feel like the days are permanent. But then we wake up one day and realize that something changed...the bunk beds that lined our walls have been replaced by ones that lie empty waiting for family and guests to crawl into their coverings. Our seasons change... days of leading into ones of being led... ones that challenge and stretch every part of us even settling into our middle sections.We often talk of hard things lasting for seasons...which is so often how it can be yet we hardly ever speak of the ones that rest in the moments.....'in-between'. The ones which feel like they're forever.... the ones we wonder if they'll ever change. This can be so hard and even messy to navigate through. Often arduous and frustrating but what we must remember is --life changes...it always ushers in another season. Faith can be hard to believe in the midst of these days.And just as the seasons in nature have a beautiful way of transitioning, life changes too- because people change and circumstances do.  And just because a change happens-it's not always a bad thing..sometimes it's just the space in between that readies us for what's ahead. Because change somehow rewrites a season of its own...one we must welcome and find the strength to embrace...a choice to walk through what is next...Change allows us to find what's next and what is new, not fearing what is to come but welcoming it as a new friend...one we can grow acquainted with.For beauty blossoms under the roughest of conditions. As I am sitting and writing this in the wintry landscape of Alaska, with the darkness hovering in the brink of the morning.The darkness won't yield itself to the sun - rather it's standing still as if it's doing exactly what it's meant to do. Never giving any thought to the hour of day it is supposed to rise...it's me, who is 'waiting' for the coming of the sun...I'm finding myself standing on the edge here for hours, waiting for the sun to make its appearance and yet the sun has no promise of showing itself to me today. My inner clock tells me the sun should be shining by now, yet somehow even in its hiding there's beauty found...the icy glossed trees sparkling in the dark, the blue gray sky that is settled and at ease-reminds me to rest. Sometimes that's how it can be with life...sometimes it's so beautiful and yet entirely messy all at the same time. And we can be so anxious for what is next -we miss what's here and now. If we'd only take a moment to notice the beauty surrounding us, we'd quit looking for what's hidden in our horizon. I suppose what lies in the depth of it all for me is fear...Fear that somehow I'm not enough...fear that the burning desire within me to write and keep on writing will somehow be taken away before I'm able to get all the words out....and let me be honest with you--there's an even greater fear that I wasn't enough for the ones He sent into my life in this season and that I've missed my chance...that I somehow won't get another chance...But life's changes usher in choices as well...It's a choice for me to settle my heart in these feelings of insecurity or to choose to speak truth over myself. And if I'm being completely honest it's a whole lot easier to speak words over ourselves that we've been speaking for years...it's hard to tread new paths in the depths of our souls.But change has a way of making us reject the lies and not ourselves...a choice to ignore what we've always thought to be true. We have a choice every day to live in forgiveness and God's grace...because we alone can welcome change into our lives...and when we do we'll find that it's not just everything around us that is changing but we are as well. And when we get through it...we will find we've grown...and healed, and that we've become stronger and more beautiful than we've ever been. Our hearts and souls will find their home because through the changes and the struggles, through the hard and the difficult we find a new season of beauty and healing full of things to be grateful for...Because even nature understands that some moments are darker than others...and that change is waiting around the corner to usher in it's fresh new beginning...and friend so it is in our lives as well.