I’ve expended a lot of energy over the years on trying to get my mind off of something.
I have this crazy way of cyclical thinking…you know the kind of thinking that keep you up all night worrying.
I’ve tried all sorts of ways to refocus, but I never considered it had anything to do with worship.
Because we often think of worship as that sacred space we carve out on Sunday morning or those moments we’re swept away by the lyrics of a beautiful song. We don’t realize worship is a daily rhythm we’re invited to meet God in every day.
But friend, its in this posture we’ve been able to see our circumstances differently.
Friends, I need you to know my life wasn’t always this way.
Before Joe’s diagnosis, I didn’t understand worship like this… I had no idea about this sacred way of living.
You see, its easy for our hearts to live quite over-crowded with worry, because worry’s always been a symptom of brokenness.
I know because I spent years longing for it to be fixed and when this didn’t happen, I tried to work around it, controlling everything I could.
God calls us into his presence when we feel overwhelmed.
He calls us in the darkness of the morning and in the sleepless nights.
He calls us in the presence of many and when we are all alone.
He calls us when life is good and when it’s hard.
Because God is like this.
He wants to make us well and heal our deepest pain.
He rescues us from the brokenness that lies within and God uses worship to do this.
You see, we often look for God to usher in our healing in a much different way than he does.
As Joe and I walked through these past six months worship became a place we both felt like we were being put back together. Every day something happened that made us feel like we were completely unraveling yet as we continuously pressed play on our worship over worry playlist, we felt something different happening.
It was as if our wounds were being gently stitched back together in those moments.
The funny thing was we needed it so badly we weren’t embarrassed to press play even while we were in the treatment rooms of it all, even while Joe was having a procedure done, surrounded by our medical team we invited them into our story, into this secret space of our lives….
Worship was what was calming our soul and healing us.
And friends, even now as so much healing is left to do, its still a vital part of our daily rhythm …we’re still chasing these sacred moments.
We know healing can still come, even if our miracle hasn’t come yet.
And it’s the same for you, friend?
Following that broken relationship, even after the funeral, when you’re still carrying around that age-old abuse-even if the miracle doesn’t show up like you’ve imagined it to…God will still usher in his peace and strength to carry you on.
I’m truly learning what happens when we’re in the valley, in the space between now and not yet…it’s here God comes to bring us the healing we are needing. Because instead of sitting in the darkness of the valley, worrying about what’s next I’m spending my days reminding myself who’s sitting next to me these days.
He’s always been there beside me, but nowadays I’m taking notice of his presence more and resting in it.
Friend, this kind of deep soul healing happens when we allow God to do his mighty work within us.
And this happens when we worship, because it’s truly here God mends our brokenness.
I get asked a lot if our life is back to normal these days and most days I have to keep from choking on my food.
Because honestly nothing’s normal and I don’t know if it ever will be…And somedays this is hard to swallow.
Because who wants to see the one they love not be able to do the simple things they used to? Or suffer through all sorts of pain?
And at the same time perhaps the healing we all think we deserve after seasons like this isn’t the healing we’ve been given.
Instead, maybe the healing we’re needing is different.
This is where Joe and I are resting our souls these days.
We’re striving daily to be okay with being more broken now than ever and yet feeling more alive than we’ve ever felt.
You see, I used to equate how I felt to the circumstances I was experiencing, but these days I’m counting breaths by all the breathtaking ways God’s ingesting life into our days.
I’m seeing things much differently now.
Because I’m realizing these days how life is truly real and yet rarely what we think it should be. Its full of wonderful and painfully hard things all at the same time…things that are simply beautiful and completely raw all in their own way.
And maybe it’s because life isn’t really about whether we’re feeling, ‘all better’ but more about living it completely wide open where God can easily get into us and heal us from the inside out.
Last night as I was encircled by a brave group of women, women who are each living the hard things life allows, I was reminded we’re all in this fight.
Our battles might look a little different, but we’re all healing from something.
And every day, every single one of us has a choice to make to heal.
We wake up each morning and have to continue the fight.
But the difference I’m finding these days is where I’m choosing to fight my battle.
You see, I use to think this war was mine to battle alone, but when I choose to worship friends-
Because in worship, we stand in the presence of God’s heavenly army, where there’s power in this place.
Our victory becomes God’s gain.
And if you’re reading this and thinking, worship isn’t something you do…think again, because every day each one of us sets our hearts on something.
We have countless moments everyday to decide where we will let our worship fall-
will we focus our worship on our families, our work, on our dreams or will we let it fall where it was intended to rest?
What we love with our heart, soul and mind will determine what we worship.
So, our daily decision isn’t whether we will worship, but who we will worship.
Come with me and worship…your soul will truly find rest here.
*Worship over Worry with me….listening to Symphony by Switch and Nothing Else by Cody Carnes right now.